took about 20 seconds just trying to lower myself into a chair in the waiting area so
I wouldn’t disturb anybody. After about 10 minutes the pain had subsided enough
that I could breathe more easily. A few minutes later a nurse opened the door to the
doctors working area and called my name, “Dean, John Dean”. Well I had
forgotten how careful I needed to be to avoid really bad pain, and sprung right up,
screaming all the way. I really broke the silence in that waiting area.
Embarrassment aside I entered an examining room and took off my pants and with
lots of deep breaths managed to get myself up on the table and laying sideways as
instructed. I don’t think I really met Dr. Gaylord until after the exam, and I never
really thought about what his name might be connoting. He hit the spot inside like
20 times with his inspecting finger which I responded to with a mild shriek each
time, which aroused my suspicion that he might really like his job and maybe be
some kind of sadist/fetishist. When it was over he told me he would schedule me
for surgery that night. I was to head to the hospital within the hour. You can’t
imagine how my surgery prep felt, the enema of which was unbearably painful. I
was getting close to the point where I may have tried relieving the abscess myself.
It helped to get a dizzy pill. When they rolled me into the surgery room it seemed
like the doctor, a few other medical personnel, and an older teenage blonde headed
buck followed the doctors instructions in trying to get me ready for an IV and in
giving me a spinal, both of which he kept repeating. It was fuzzy, but that’s what
was happening. I woke up in recovery a new man and soon enough my legs came
back and nothing hurt. The abscess had been the size of a small orange. I was
moved to my room.
I discovered I had bandages for underpants. The doctor told me he’d see me
in the morning. Around 11 PM my digestive track, which had not functioned for
about 4 days, told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to go potty. I rang for the
nurse and she said you’ll just have to remove the bandages and go for it if you
really need to. “Do you need any help?” I didn’t need any assistance. Whoa! what
a relief, a couple of bloody flushes, a big weight loss, and back to bed, no pain, no
soreness, Zonk. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
The next morning, breakfast with a smile, and the doctor arrived about 9AM.
He had me roll over and looked at the incision. Without a warning he jabbed his
finger into my butt , and I could be one of only a handful of people that can say ,
he ripped me a new one, and mean it literally. At that moment we were no longer
friends. He acted in a hurry and was abrupt and told me to stay there and rest for
the weekend, while he was out of town, and follow the regimen of sitz baths.